Now Christmas Day is over, you might be thinking about the year ahead and what new year dating resolutions to make. It’s a great time to take a moment and reflect. ‘Twixmas’. ‘Crimbo Limbo’. ‘Romjul’ (if you speak Norwegian). Whatever you call that indefinite space between Christmas and New Year, why not do a gentle stock-take of your dating life and focus attention on the year ahead? Here are six suggestions for a fruitful year ahead…
Resolve to do something new
To start your new year dating resolutions, focus on the ‘new’ in ‘New Year’ and consider tweaking any routine that has become a rut. Someone I know was in the habit of going to her church’s evening service. Then one Sunday morning she woke up early and decided to go to the morning service instead.
She found herself sitting beside and getting into conversation with a man she had never met before. They had both attending the same church for over a year but had never met because he went to the morning service, she to the evening. Long story short: eighteen months later they both attended another morning service together – their wedding.
Resolve to say yes to opportunities
A lovely man of my acquaintance was turned down by a woman he met up with for a date, but she offered to introduce him to a walking group she belonged to.
Walking wasn’t something he was very interested in, his pride was injured, and the easiest thing to do would have been to say no.
But being a give-it-a-go sort of guy he said yes and went along to the walking group. ‘And Just Like That’ he discovered a friendly, social group of people, fell in love with one of them, and got married.
Saying yes to an opportunity can change your life.
Embrace the new – going places and meeting people – while remembering to let friends know where you’re going, and how to contact you if you’re stepping into the unknown.
Resolve to work through anything that might be holding you back from a fresh start at dating
If you find yourself hitting a block when it comes to relationships and want to move on, it can be a good move to talk to a counsellor. Sometimes just expressing something to an experienced professional gives us a fresh perspective on it that untangles us from the obstacles that hold us back.
Even positive experiences of family life can affect how we relate to others, and it’s good to remember we all have different expectations too.
Resolve to refresh your dating profile
Your online profile acts as a window into who you are, a multi-faceted, three-dimensional individual, so see your profile as evolving rather than set in concrete.
Make it a habit to get photos of yourself when enjoying time with friends, at social events, or outdoors and vary them on your profile to generate new interest.
Freshen up and rephrase what you have written about yourself from time to time, adding any new experiences or activities you’re recently taken part in. They might just add that extra something that causes someone special to reach out. (Read The Christian Connection guide to perfecting your profile).
Try not to be too glued to your own front door, as changing your search parameters to include matches further afield — such as places where you have family or friends you can visit — instantly widens the pool of possibilities.
Resolve to invest time in dating
With dating, as with life, there is usually a direct relationship between effort and result. So it makes sense to schedule regular and frequent appointments with yourself to sit down with a cuppa in front of your screen to send and answer messages, send waves or wave backs, read profiles, and initiate new contacts.
Don’t forget to balance this time and your other new year dating resolutions with boundaries so you’re not overwhelmed or spending all your spare time immersed online.
Quality time will help, and give you opportunity to do other things too.
Resolve to invest in yourself
Investing in the business world means putting resources into an enterprise because you believe it has potential and want to see it thrive. You as a unique individual beloved by God have more potential than any enterprise, and it’s worth putting time, money, and effort into caring for and developing yourself.
It can be spiritual (spend time with the One who is love); emotional (being around people and pursuits that nourish you); physical (quality sleep/food/looking your best), and mental (exploring ideas through taking a course, TED or TEDx talks, reading, podcast series).
It will personally enrich not only yourself and your present, but your future partner and your future relationship too.
What are your new year dating resolutions?
If you’re interested in starting your new year dating resolutions well and meeting other single Christians, find out more about Christian Connection and how to join.
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